


The heart can not choose who it loves.

by trebleDeath



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other, Sad?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 12:31:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3488375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trebleDeath/pseuds/trebleDeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And yet, I choose not to love you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The heart can not choose who it loves.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow okay, almost all this dialogue between roxcy and jane came from a real experience i had. yeah. it hurt. im over it now.

Jane smiled. No. More like smirked. A devious smirk. 

Then there’s Roxy. She just matched the smirk with one of her own; glossed lips pursed into a smug grin. “All in,” She spoke, not letting her usual giggles shine through into her words. 

Poker required a steady voice and even if you did not have a steady poker face, you needed a firm voice. 

Jane, on the other hand, let out a laugh. Nothing was particularly funny, but playing poker just had that affect on them. “I’ll match that.” They pushed the chips forwards into the small pot on the floor of the high school hallway. 

“Oh really?” The slight giggle showed up this time, making Roxy’s words bubbly. 

“Yep. You bluff way too much for me not to.” 

“You know, I could have just convinced you I bluffed then changed my game plan. Besides, bluffing has nothing to do with how excellent my hand is,” She winked at Dirk, who was sitting cross legged by the small deck of cards. 

Jane fake gasped, placing a hand over their chest, “Dirk, you cheated?” 

“Yep. Now Jake, you putting all in or folding?” His expression and face neither changed nor moved, though everyone knew he was staring at Jake through his shades. 

Jake bit his lip; his slight overbite looking more prominent as he did so. He sighed before pushing up his glasses, “Can’t I put in half or just sit out this one?” 

“Nope. That’s just not how it works.” 

“Fine… Then I fold.” He placed down his cards before making them a little cross. 

Dirk nodded before flipping the last card. 

Jane stared at Roxy as she looked at the last card, who subconsciously stuck out her tongue to lick her pink lips. Kind of a contradictory thing to do, considering she had put on lip gloss not a minute ago; her lips were probably already soft enough without it.

Not that Jane was staring at her lips or anything.

No… not at all…

“Ha!” Roxy’s voice drew Jane out of daze. They looked down at the cards. Damn, she had a pair of aces, and there was an ace on the board. Damn…

“Wow, you really weren’t bluffing.” Jane flipped their cards to reveal two fours.

“Aw… both of you had pairs. I didn’t,” Jake flipped his card; a king and queen of spades.

Roxy stared for a moment. “Jakey, there’s an ace and jack of spades on the board. Why did you fold?”

“Because they’re not the same number.”

Dirk’s mouth twitched; possibly the only indication he wanted to smack Jake. “It would have been a royal flush. Now, Roxy gets the pot.”

Jake nodded, though his eyes were semi-vacant, showing he didn't understand, or didn't care. Possibly both.

Dirk sighed and stood up gracefully; not even pausing to untangle his legs from his criss-cross position. “I’m going to the vending machine. Jake, come with me.”

He didn’t bother asking Roxy or Jane, knowing they’d refuse.

“Wait, if you’re going to the vending machine, can you get me some chips? No Doritos; I’m sick of those.” Jane dug through their pocket and threw a dollar bill at Dirk. Wadded, of course, they wasn’t an idiot.

Dirk nodded, “Anything for your lady?” Still looking at Jane.

Roxy rolled her eyes. “No. I’m fine.”

He nodded again before walking off. He turned around halfway through the hall and made a little heart sign over his chest, “I ship it!” He yelled back.

This time, both of them rolled their eyes, though Jane’s rosy cheeks were a little more so. “Not happening,” They yelled back, surprising themself at being the one to revoke it, rather than Roxy denying it.

Dirk chuckled before disappearing around the bend.

Jane giggled before shifting their position from upright to a side-lean, balancing on their hand.

However, the cards happened to be right there where they placed their hand. 

They managed to catch themself just before they hit the ground.

Jane stared up at Roxy from the ground; one arm under them and their legs splayed out, “Hey there, pretty lady.”

Roxy smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes; and her eyes were always smiling, “Hey there, cute lady.”

The smile on the other’s face faltered, only for a second, “Rox, I’m not really a girl. I’m kind of non-binary…”

Roxy shrugged lightly. She knew that gender was important, but that didn’t stop her from using the wrong pronouns all the time, “I know. I wanted to return the compliment like a good friend I am.” She enunciated the word ‘friend’ just a bit, “Non-binary confuses me though... Growing up, I only knew two genders and I knew the right one for me when I was eight.”

Jane nodded. “I know… It just bothers me a little bit.” they shifted positions again, though not to sit up. Jane just laid down, resting their head on the probably disgusting and old carpet by Roxy’s lap, closing their eyes and letting out a soft sigh.

“You know, you can use me as a pillow. The floor probably isn't comfortable.” Roxy spoke up after a moment.

“I know… I’m good.” A couple weeks ago they would have jumped at the chance to get physical in any way; just to touch her. But, they was over her. Things were sorted out and they were just friends.

Another moment of silence passed. “Hey… What accents can you do?” Jane spoke up this time.

“Why do you ask?”

“Curious. I can do a really good French one because you know… I actually speak French pretty good.”

Roxy let out a laugh, a genuine one, “Ha. Pretty good. You’re nearly bilingual. And I’m the one with French heritage, or did the last name Lalondé throw you off?”

Jane giggled, “Shush. I’m just curious about accents.”

“Well I can’t do much. Let’s hear your French accent.”

“Okay. Well, mon cher, I zink zat zis qualifies as a, ‘ow do you say, accent.” they waved their hands around for emphasis.

Roxy giggled again. God, that giggle... “I think it does, but what does cher have to do with it? It’s a terrible wine.”

“No, it means dear, because you are my dear.”

Another falter; just a drop in the tempo of the conversation. “… I see...”

Jane let out a soft breath; a silent laugh. This was a way to fuck with her. Once again, their hand found itself on their chest, “You are my cher, ze ‘eart can not choose ‘oo it loevs.” Not once dropping the French accent.

“Yes it can and I choose not to love you.” She spoke with such a smile on her face; Jane doubted they realized what she said.

A moment of silence passed. Roxy probably caught on by then, but neither of them moved nor let their smiles fall, even if they were turning more and more into a grimace.

“…And I choose to love wine.” Roxy finally spoke again, with a plastic and rigid smile which was still present.

Buzzing filled the air. Immediately, Jane shot up and grappled for their phone. With it in hand, they looked at the small bubble, “Shit. My dad’s here. Guess I’ll have to let you be poker champ.”

Roxy nodded. “Shame you have to leave. Dirk’s not even back with your chips.”

Jane rolled their eyes again. “He’s around the bend; eavesdropping.”

“Fuck...” Dirk’s voice came out from the bend, as was predicted.

“Have my chips?” they called out.

He appeared before chucking a bag of chips their way. “Why don’t you two just kiss and get over it?”

“Not a lesbian,” responded Roxy smoothly. They went through this about five times a day.

“And I’m not a girl.” Jane stood up and grabbed their bag. They left; their heart sinking as they walked out the doors opposite to the hallway.

Jake sat down and picked up the deck and started absently shuffling it.

Silence overcame them as Dirk stared at Roxy, having yet to take a seat.

“I’m not joking, you know...” Dirk spoke up. He had a habit of saying things that were out of place or that no one understood; but it meant he was talking about something he himself didn’t understand. Like his emotions.

“I’m not kidding,” He repeated. “I ship it. Like… you two are cute together, and I think sexuality is stupid.”

“Says the boy who will only date boys.” Roxy’s smile was gone.

He shrugged, “I’m not gay... I don’t know what I am but I don’t really like girls. But other genders are chill. I don’t like labels. Point being, I’m sad you guys aren’t together, but I’ll respect that... Just so you know, I’m not really joking when I say you should kiss or when you two are cute. Just putting that out there so you don’t think I’m teasing you or shoving the fact that it won’t happen in your face.”

Roxy nodded, “Sorry… I’m just irritable over this thing.”

“I heard what you said.”

“I know, Mr. Eavesdropper.”

“Just one part that I heard well enough for it to speak to me on it’s own. ‘I choose not to love you,’”


End file.
